Academic dating com
My Self-Summary I’m a Ph D student in London, researching women in the boardroom. I’m in the last 6 months of my Ph D, so I spend most of my time re-reading sections of my thesis that I have already re-written many times over, and drinking too much coffee, and getting angry with people who get between me and the coffee. Music – Classical, ambient, or generally anything that doesn’t have words to it, so I can listen to it while I work.
Rest of the time spent hopping from one existential crisis to another, oscillating wildly between a range of contradictory emotions and over-thinking. Adding ‘hyper’ and ‘meta’ to words to make them seem more interesting . Eating cold leftovers for a week without anyone noticing. Food – I am a whizz at making a week’s worth of library-food on little to no money.
Her reply summed it up: “That’s probably for the best.” Relationships are incompatible with Ph Ds, seems to be the conclusion. Anything by Erving Goffman, Michel Foucault, Judith Butler or Pierre Bourdieu. Although I definitely don’t want to talk about my thesis.
A recent Buzz Feed article really hit home with lots of my Ph D friends – ‘24 Struggles You’ll Only Understand If You’re Dating A Ph D Student’ – it covers a lot of the issues Ph D students in couples have. Mainly I am good at buying theory books I wont have time to read, and stacking them around me on my desk to make myself feel like I’m working. Trying to disguise the fact that all I can think is: “You should be writing. Which is awkward, because I can only think about my thesis.
It’s not just a matter of two consenting adults’ hearts wanting what they want.
Because not only are these relationships almost always an unacceptable abuse of power, they also affect the dynamics of departments, entire fields, and the very act of academic mentorship altogether.
I guess I’d known that interviewing out-of-state would put pressure on us; what I didn’t know was that it would immediately end the relationship.So if they had challenges then, it gets about 1,000 times worse once they're tossed from the warm womb of their alma mater. For simple things, it takes someone smart to really screw it up. Take piano, violin, tennis, swimming and Tibetan throat-singing lessons. Be "well-rounded." Well, you're a talented little bugger. At the same time, there's an opportunity cost associated with achievement.